Profit Margin Pundit Pillows

Bad news airbag

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Euro fall...

Liquidity Lunch

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble