Profile Pundit Pillows

Online dating.

"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Obama Healthcare.

'It's cheaper than gas.'