Profile Peeper Mugs

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'I know zero about the issue, so I can't be called a 'Washington insider'.'

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'Hello! Don't I know you from the internet?'

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

Psychology 101

'Which one shall I get?'

Some Friends From Work

"Have you ever noticed that all our teachers fit the FBI's terrorist profile?"

Your online profile didn't say you were a bottom feeder.

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

'Particles, particles, particles.'

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

"You're under arrest for consumer Freud."

'If I were you I'd spend most of my time trying to be someone else.'

"I'm less judgmental now that I've failed at everything in life."

'You can't get by on fluffiness forever!'

Kiss me quik dating service

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

'And number five said in his profile that he was 6'2' and he turned out to be 5'7'.'

'I don't think it's a good idea to put the fact that though you've been indicted seven times, but you've only been convicted twice on your 'About' page.'

'Got one with a smaller check?'

'Do you, shoe online shop customer number 145583774, promise to love, honor and cherish electronic online shop customer number 9634217554...'

'So tell me about yourself. Where do you blog?'

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."

'I'm 50 percent lovable and 50 percent bitch. Don't push it.'

"Nature lover my tailfeathers...I say he's a peeping Tom!"

The four personality types. Optimistic. Pessimistic. Cautiously optimistic. Cautiously pessimistic.

"Dude, loosen up!"