Profile Curator Pillows

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I want my profile picture to scream 'personality'."

'Can I have a few minutes to update my profile page?'

'You look exactly like your website.'

'Actually, we do have something in common. We were both duplicitous in our online dating profiles.'

"It's nothing personal. I just enjoyed your online presence better."

"You might want to tone down that profile."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

TV-Man

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Misunderstood artist

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

You had me at vintage.

Convenience.

The Rise of Modern Art

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'