Professional Pontificator T-Shirts

'I'm so glad you came to visit, young Louis. I've saved these cuttings on how to live your life properly'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

"5...4...3...2..."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

COVID Era Intel

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"He's the pastor's press secretary."

'I don't understand. I haven't done anything to encourage them...'

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

'Three big corks? That's it?' (Environmental Improvement).

Footballer's Wages

'If I'm an agnostic, what's an atheist?' 'Never mind that. If I'm an atheist, what's an agnostic?'

Nun reading book titled 'How to be good in bed.'

"If you could eat only one type of grass for the rest of your life, what would you choose?"

"Of course I envy you. I have to take them two at a time."

'What are you, some kind of religious nut?'

Back to normal

'Don't be paranoid, Brother Jerome -- Why would they be talking about you?'

Country & High Brow.

'You should see what they're doing next door - it's disgusting,'