Professional Pontificator T-Shirts

'I'm so glad you came to visit, young Louis. I've saved these cuttings on how to live your life properly'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

"5...4...3...2..."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Moses Separates the Cream. . .

Life is simpler in the sticks.

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

COVID Era Intel

"He's the pastor's press secretary."

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'I don't understand. I haven't done anything to encourage them...'

' Isn't it great the way the eyes follow you around the room?'

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

'Three big corks? That's it?' (Environmental Improvement).

Have you been undressing me with your eyes? It's okay, I'm a doctor

Footballer's Wages

"Why Americans don't vote"

'If I'm an agnostic, what's an atheist?' 'Never mind that. If I'm an atheist, what's an agnostic?'

See, son? That's what happens when you don

'Do you want to tell him or should I?'

Nun reading book titled 'How to be good in bed.'

'What are you, some kind of religious nut?'

"Of course I envy you. I have to take them two at a time."

Inner Debate Club.

'Don't be paranoid, Brother Jerome -- Why would they be talking about you?'

Back to normal

'You should see what they're doing next door - it's disgusting,'

Country & High Brow.