Professional Partnership Pundit Pillows

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

"Look, Earl. . . It's a young person Republican! They do exist!"

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

Avoid talking about personal and domestic issues at interviews, unless asked.

Voice of the GOP

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

"Yes, we can hear well at the back, but I'd be happy to change seats with anyone who can't..."

'The Pope has decided to issue another apology for not issuing an apology.'

"I hope it's not contagious."

'With the threat of ABS's competing for Council work is going to get even harder...'

A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.

'If voting in elections really changed anything the politicians wouldn't allow it!'

"Dad, not now!"

"That's not Earth! I knew you were too proud to use the GPS!"

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

"MBA or not, get a haircut and cover up the tattoos."

"I'm thinking of buying a peerage with the money from my second job."

1 Quarterly Report

"The PM plans to ennobble him."

Twitter vs Threads

Cantor Buried Tale

Mittzkrieg

"So the microwave's got a popcorn button, but the popcorn bag says don't use the popcorn button, and I'm like, Microwave people! Popcorn people! Get your act together!!"