Professional Conduct T-Shirts

"Guys, quit it, or we’re all going to end up in sensitivity training!"

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Butterfly Woman

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Others will fight for you

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

Jester Surgeon

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"