Profession Pride Explorer Pillows

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Butterfly Woman

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

Congratulations!

....Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

"Why do we keep trying?""Because we need purpose..."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

God save the Queen.

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

'The key to unlock my potential isn't in this building.'