Proclaimer Of Perpetual Youth Pillows

"Old age is always fifteen years older than you are."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Elderly People

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"I don't know...but it seems like nothing ever changes around here. It's like we've been 15 years old forever!"

"Times were hard for old Sid....He had to get a part-time job!"

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

'The position calls for a mature person with young ideas.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"They grow up so slow."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Biblical Teenager

'I want to go into farming,sir the idea of sowing wild oats sounds fascinating!'

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'