Processed Food Philosopher T-Shirts

'Tell us that really scary story again...the one about how they make chicken nuggets!'

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Stratigraphy

"Think about it: You're about to create fifty two orphans!"

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'