Procedural Pirate Prints

'Let's not go by the book.'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Music downloads

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Can you sign this copy I downloaded off the internet?"

'If you only learn one thing while you're here kid, remember, the cherry filled ones are mine!'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

Punishment for Software Piracy.

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

"We don't bury treasure anymore - it's all in bitcoin."

Financial Pirates

"Give me a couple years, and I can answer your simple question about the new regulations."

'Business as usual, baby - Wall Street is back!'

"The suspect is roughly 55 feet tall and quite possibly green."

Pirate

The Executioner's Identity Lineup

"I can watch more 'Law & Order' than any man in this bar."

An executive walks the plank during a boardroom meeting.

'Freelancing might be a viable option.'

"Here's another good one, some bloke reckons we should pay for software!"

'Eddy Penguin? I'm not sure, officer... Can you desctibe him?'

Pirate King

Little girl playing pirates with her dog.

Pirate Captain, with his hook accessories, in his kitchen.

'I have to download a software patch for my eyePhone.'

'Ok, I may have abused my download privileges,'

'Okay, I have the that backward. Step out of the car and then put your hands up.'

"Of course we have evidence. The whole thing was captured on video."