Prizes Pillows

Monster game shows.

Boy wins a dead fish at the fair and is directed to the medium.

Instant winner trash can

'Frank and I won a Clydesdale horse farm.'

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

'Remember to register for the door prize.'

As a home-schooled student, Renee found it tougher and tougher to muster any genuine surprise.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

Fishing Boat Derby

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

First Prize!

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'Rhea of the Year.'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Norman E-Mailer

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

Swimming Champion.