Private Healthcare Ponderer T-Shirts

"By the way, I can't afford your fees."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

Waiting for Pants

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

Retirement Issues

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

Desert Island Surveillance.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"