Privacy Prospector Pillows

"I liked it better when they were just reading our emails."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Do you mind?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Police Statetion

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

The Best Defense

Privacy

CCTV in church.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'