Privacy Preachers Pillows

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

The Anti-Agent

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Night-time halo

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

Thou Shalt Not!

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

Dogma

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'