Privacy Philosophy Ponderer Pillows

"Our privacy policy has changed. Press 'I Agree,' because what are you really going to do about it?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chiller Theatre

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

G7 Summit Concern

Sauce for the Goose

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Roe v. Wade

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Is this who I am?"

Do Guns Kill?

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I cross the road to forget."