Privacy Philosophy Ponderer Pillows

"Our privacy policy has changed. Press 'I Agree,' because what are you really going to do about it?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

Chiller Theatre

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

G7 Summit Concern

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Roe v. Wade

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

The Price of Freedom

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Do Guns Kill?

"Is this who I am?"

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I cross the road to forget."

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'