
"Me? I am a diabolical maniac who's just happy to be here. What are you in for?"
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"Me? I am a diabolical maniac who's just happy to be here. What are you in for?"
' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '
"Spoiler alert."
Tic-tac-toe
"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."
Visitation Day at the Bug Jar
'My school has a very strict detention policy.'
'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'
'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'
"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."
'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'
'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'
Prisoner decorating his cell.
"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"
'It's windy this morning.'
"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"
'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'
"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"
'He didn't wash his hands.'
Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'
"Then there is the episode when Kirk and Spock get stuck on this planet...."
"Try and give me... happy."
"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."
'Ron Adagio, the only person in Hollywood who has been in a movie, but hasn't yet starred in his own sitcom.'
"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."
'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'
"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."
Dalek Sneeze
'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'
Prison decorating
'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'
'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'
Identity theft. You?
'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'
'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'
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