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'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"Good. Now take the reward money and invest it. Something long-term, like,15 to 20 years."

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

'I'd hate to be locked up with a bunch of strangers for months on end, wouldn't you?'

'I figure what I've lost in public trust, I've gained in name recognition.'

'For you new prisoners here, the guards will only let us use bar graphs on all of our prison data projects...'

'That was the worst paradigm shift EVER!'

"She wanted 'warm and fuzzy' so I wrapped her in a mink coat and set it on fire"

Clock in Prison measures years not hours

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'Eddie, I'm at a private contractor prison. I'll have my people contact your people about buying this joint.'

'After being in burglary ten years, I can't sleep at night.'

'You probably won't remember the three day week...'

'Who'd ever have guessed that mice do actually have rights?!'

'I guess its only a matter of time before they indict us.'

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

'Wake me up when they come and get me for my execution.'

I got an A in despair.

"I miss the good old days when you were a number instead of a bar code."

'I wish there was something we could do.'

Prisoner

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

"I didn't believe polls saying crime doesn't pay."

'I will tell her about us. I just don't think now's the right time.'

"What are you in for?" "Tagging."

'Me? Why, no -- I thought you were keeping score?'

'The court hereby sentences you to fifteen months in an imaginary box.'

'A hunger strike seems quite excessive, guys. Could we go on a 'watching our figure' strike instead?'

The Universal Penal Barcode.

Luxury Box.

In retrospect, what I learned is that money is a motivator but it can be too much of a motivator

Sampling inside information on the Banani prison system, McCormack found himself confronting the ultimate writer's block.

WARDEN, 'Good luck on the outside, Murdock -- be sure to visit our gift shop.'

'...You don't get out enough...none of us do.'

'It doesn't feel like a Sunday today, does it?'