Prison Reform Activists T-Shirts

"I'm tunneling out to see my MP about the atrocious conditions! Anything you want brought back?"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Skeptic Tank.

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Privatized Jails

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

'Credit Crunch - wassat then?'

Prisoner speech

'Ask the judge if we can put more than two inmates serving life plus 99 years into one cell!'

Human Rights

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"I can't say I'm wild about these open prisons."

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

Jeremy Bentham

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

"The funds weren't a mutual as I thought."

Black Lives Matter but Maybe Not Their Votes

"My thinking was a little too far outside the box."

Solitary refinement.

"While I don't have a formal background in finance, I did corner the cigarette market while I was doing time."