Prison Officer Mugs

"I'm just here for the dental."

"Well, if it's any consolation, your social media makes it looks like you're absolutely thriving."

'Heck, no, I'm not thinking of leaving. That said, I do feel it's probably wise to have an exit strategy in place.'

'I could only get you a plea bargain of ninety years without parole. But... That's life.'

'Looks like a full stop to me - you must be getting to the end of your sentence.'

"I forget. Is this the punishment or the rehabilitation?"

'We're very keen on encouraging inmates to volunteer...for example I can't even REMEMBER the last time I washed my own car!'

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'Oh my lord, they've turned into pillows!'

"Thanks to Kickstarter, we're building a tunnel."

"They're doing inspections-get the throw pillows in order."

"For your last meal, don't order Chinese. You'll be hungry again in an hour."

Prison Art - Bent Screw

'You've got a very high re-offending rate.'

'I tried to turn my life around, and apparently I made an illegal U-turn.'

'Well, now we know -- blaming the victim DOESN'T work.'

'I found them on the side of the road, they said they would love to help out our charity drive.'

Having a child who had missed three assemblies wasn't enough to win the respect of the hardmen of prison block 'D'.

Prison vs Schools.

Prison Wallpaper.

"Well you've been misinformed... our harshest punishment is loss of colour T.V for a week."

'We're introducing a choice.'

'I'm interested mainly in 'escape fiction'.'

"That's doctor inmate #2264."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"He's been in a marvellous mood ever since he learned one out of every hundred and fifty Americans is in jail."

"Just remember, it's O.K. to be guilty, but it's not O.K. to feel guilty."

"Forget about me, kid. I'm going to die in this joint… start a new life." "Cookie…."

"You should get out more."

Cell division

A prisoner in a cell with a very high window, reads book: 'A room with a view'.

"Government regulations require that we give safety instructions prior to execution."

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'We are no longer called criminals! We're called 'Legally Disadvantaged'.'