Prison Life Irony Lover Pillows

"Neato, keeno - bunk beds!"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Wow. A corner office at last

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

"Try and give me... happy."

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

Maximum Insecurity Prison

Santa visits prison.

"I've sent last minute treatments to all the major studios."

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

'Why can't you play harmonica like all the other inmates?'

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

'You've got to get me out of here... my cellmate just gave me flowers and candy.'

Dear Edward, here is the cake in the file that you wanted. Love, Sue.

'That's old Smitty -- he got life plus 99 years.'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

'When you flippantly asked them to honour your August holiday arrangements they flippantly honoured August 2022.'

"They're suppositories. Well what other type of drugs do you expect me to smuggle in."

No, I don't want to build a fort.

'Somebody tweeted.'

"For me, a confessions is much too autobiographical."

I'll tell you what I most miss...being able to garrote people...

'Count yourself lucky - he used to SHOOT the messenger.'