Prison Life Irony Lover Pillows

"Neato, keeno - bunk beds!"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Wow. A corner office at last

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

"Try and give me... happy."

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

Santa visits prison.

"I've sent last minute treatments to all the major studios."

Maximum Insecurity Prison

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

'Why can't you play harmonica like all the other inmates?'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

"For me, a confessions is much too autobiographical."

'When you flippantly asked them to honour your August holiday arrangements they flippantly honoured August 2022.'

Dear Edward, here is the cake in the file that you wanted. Love, Sue.

'You've got to get me out of here... my cellmate just gave me flowers and candy.'

I'll tell you what I most miss...being able to garrote people...

"They're suppositories. Well what other type of drugs do you expect me to smuggle in."

'That's old Smitty -- he got life plus 99 years.'

'Count yourself lucky - he used to SHOOT the messenger.'

A prison inmate is typing prison tally marks in his laptop computer.