Prison Life Chuckles T-Shirts

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

Exhibition for Prisoners

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

Convict Decor

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

Martha bakes with her new friends.

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"If you include my first marriage I'm a three time loser."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

"They're doing inspections-get the throw pillows in order."

Stirrbucks

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'