Printer Whisperer Prints

'Computer printer ink! We're gonna be rich!'

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

'I can't repair the manual printing machine. The manual is illegible.'

"I thought it was time to clean my printer."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Fixing the Computer.

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'Are you done yet?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Computer help.

Man and Machine snoozing

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"Now all we need is a good script."

"Love your feng shui!"

Creator's Block

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Interactive TV news.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Books of Tablets

Duplass Brothers

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."