Print Journalism Enthusiast Pillows

"Just spray this on your newspaper and whoosh! - all the facts you don't like disappear!"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'Is this your first book launch?'

Big Newspaper Delivery

JET (Part I)

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'Ah, Gutenberg, I'm just writing an article about your silly bookpress.'

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

H L Mencken.

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Inflated gloom!'

"These printers can be pretty self-righteous when they present their bills."

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Sunday.

Johannes Gutenberg

The Daily Me

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

power of press

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'