Primal Lifestyle T-Shirts

'Surely there's some other good source of protein out there!'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Vegetarian Birds

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

'He lifted two! That beats your world record yesterday of one.'

The Shy Nudist Camp.

"I think we should get a dog."

'If you have any other concerns, talk to the boss - his cave is always open.'

"Now do you believe me?"

Naturist Beach - Nudity strictly enforced.

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Caveman Valentine,

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

'Like dude, you are totally freakin' me out with your cigarette smoke!!'

'This is totally bananas!'

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

"Ok everyone. . . say, organic, soy-based tofu, dairy substitute."