Priesthood Pillows

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Night-time halo

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

God Sneezes Out Creation

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Golfing Bishop.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"