Prideful Ponderer T-Shirts

"I don't know what happened. I usually carry enough money around to make myself feel superior."

Crowded Ice Fishing

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

Scars and Bars

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Frog Baby Names

Lost and Profound.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

"You what? Well, you darn well ought to have a guilt complex"

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

Trump Bird

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

Fingers

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

"Oh, swallow your pride and go to the eye doctor!"

The thinker.

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'In accordance with the Patriot Act, we find the accused guilty of unspecified acts.'