Price-savvy Painter T-Shirts

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

The Art Student.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"We only got six days of funding."

The Artist

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

The DaVinci Code

'I'm in my Blue period.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

Painting clouds

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

(Camel paintings)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Use your imagination.

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Distractions Of The Great

Horti-Culture

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Painting the Ceiling

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."