Hopeful Painter T-Shirts

"I don't have the heart to tell him what's going on with today's art market."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Children's Imagination

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

This one's mixed media--- I had jelly on my hands while finger-painting.

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

"I've made a fortune as a successful artist! I couldn't see this happening if I became a soldier or a worker..."

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

"That'll be the day!"

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Inbox and Outbox

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

'I need to practice painting the human figure, MOM! Models cost money!"

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

Symbolism for Artists

'You did that on purpose!'

"Oh, so the big famous painter doesn't have time to visit his mother and paint her portrait, is that it?"

Picasso's learning years.