Pretentious Book Collector Pillows

"Under self-isolation rules, you can make a start on reading your impressive range of pretentious books, can't you?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Rare Books

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Multi-Generational Books

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Sue the Author 3PM

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Do it yourself books.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

The Shrinking Dollar.

Sock Puppet in Literature