Pretentious Book Collector Pillows

"Under self-isolation rules, you can make a start on reading your impressive range of pretentious books, can't you?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Rare Books

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Do it yourself books.

The Shrinking Dollar.

Multi-Generational Books

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Sue the Author 3PM

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')