Presentation Fanatic T-Shirts

'Now look at this. This is interesting!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

Blue sky thinking

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

Hanging off every word...

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Presentation skills.

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."