Presence Maker Pillows

Wasn't sure why, or even what it meant, but sometimes he just needed to make his presence felt.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Musicians.

'Maybe next time. I never kiss on a first date.'

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

"Now you've done it!"

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

"We're potty training."

"If you retweet it and you have '0' followers, was it retweeted?"

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

Prompter malfunction. You're on your own.

"You'll go places in this company. Not really, but with our green screen, we can make it look that way."

'I always say you can't have a spontaneous grass roots movement without a little seed money.'

'Relax, sir?I think it's just a fashion statement.'

'The other way! that play went the other way! ... That's a decoy!'

'Your back is never going to get better until you stop playing the piano with a walking band.'

"This shoe proudly announces, 'I a am post-feminist'."