Prescription Pun Lover Prints

'We need to stop collecting both our prescriptions on the same day.'

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

"I can't tell if the doctor wrote 'Furanotrin' or 'Forunonil' or 'Fernobil', so I'm giving you a little of each."

"Here it reads that the medication the doctor prescribed to you might have some side effects..."

"Yeah, three loops with a line through them. What drug is that?"

"It doesn't come with any cap at all. You're to take one every two minutes."

Push In And Turn

"You're in luck. I just changed religions and am no longer opposed to filling this one."

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Copycats

Zombie standup

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.