Preplanner T-Shirts

'Don't forget to tell them to throw a handbasket into the coffin.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"We only got six days of funding."

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"Three more years of high school."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

God's Subcontractors

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

Saving for College.

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Waiting for retirement.