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Nigel Adkins

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

When Engineers Crack.

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Let's check out our dress options for the eco prom. Excellent idea. Google "green prom dresses." I bet there are tons of ideas. You're right. Lime, kelly, forest

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

The ambush.

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

Father Time Management

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

Bad Office Planning

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

Cat Day Planner.

"Well let`s see. It's going to be tight but I could squeeze you in for a walk at 1 pm."

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'