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The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

When Engineers Crack.

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Bad Office Planning

The ambush.

Father Time Management

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

Cat Day Planner.

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"Well let`s see. It's going to be tight but I could squeeze you in for a walk at 1 pm."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"What if you go under before I need to?"