Prehistoric Wit Pillows

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"And this is our media room."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

'We need to have a shake-up!'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Early on-line shopping

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Carbon Dating

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'We had seven gloriously happy years together, and then he learned how to talk.'

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

"I like the idea, but is it scaleable?"

"Hey Arthur, check it out, a shooting star. That's a sure sign of luck, my friend."