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Ancient Racing

65 Million Years Ago

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

The discovery of asparagus.

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

The Evolution Of Man.

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

"This was probably an early Father's Day gift."

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

The Land Before Mimes.

"Oooh... bacon!"

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"