Preemptive Planner Gifts

Ducks carrying bomb flying over hunters

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

A wiser and a better man

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

"It's a game where we roll the dice to see which destination wedding we should spend our savings on this year."

Heavenly meetings.

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. we forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we'd hoped to use died in 1958

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"My career was on the launching pad."

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

Sale: His and Her's weekender bags.

'As a graduation present my parents ae going to remodel their basement for my home.'

Saving up for a rainy day.

'Please tell me you still have my cocktail napkin. I mapped out the whole campaign on it.'

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

"Yessir warmer weather will be moving in any day now."

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

'Don't look now, but Cain and Abel messed up your 'Natural Selection' program.'

"I know, I know - don't go shopping when you're hungry."

'You dropped your day planner.'

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'