Predictors Of The Future Mugs

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

Crap from the future.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"It will be all your fault."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

What will happen in the world

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"It also doubles as a karaoke machine."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'