Predatory Partner Enthusiast T-Shirts

"At first I wasn't to happy about going out in a one-man patrol car."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Hell No Kitty

"Cat park"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"I'm no expert but I think global worming would be a good thing."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"Sweet baby Jesus. Mike! You won't believe this."

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

Chasebook for Dogs