Preakness Stakes Pillows

Quarter horse racing at The Freakness

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Charity Shop Income on Rise

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"But seriously, medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences aside, who are you?"

Cookery/Bestsellers/Humour/Art.

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

'What do we do now? I can't count to ten can you?'

CEO Incentives

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

CCTV

"It's not about win or lose. It's about how much money I'm going to make."

'Let him go.' - 'No, he'll hit me again.'

"When you get back out there, I want you to make him think you're losing."

"Yar gotta avoid bein' a bit stiff to stop becoming' a stiff."

'I don't understand - he's just as strong as ever.'

What about the company car you promised?

'Don't worry about the loss. At 143.75, if you gain 3 ounces, we can try for the light junior welter super bantam title.'

Muhammad Ali

"...and the undisputed winner is..."

'I know that your opponent beat the piss out of you, but I still need your urine sample in this cup.'

'I want a good, clean fight. And if I don't see you after this round, hard luck.'

'You're going to have to take the fight to him.' 'Aye! Find out where he lives.'