Preakness Stakes Pillows

Quarter horse racing at The Freakness

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

"But seriously, medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences aside, who are you?"

Cookery/Bestsellers/Humour/Art.

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

Mike Tyson

CEO Incentives

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

'What do we do now? I can't count to ten can you?'

CCTV

"It's not about win or lose. It's about how much money I'm going to make."

'Let him go.' - 'No, he'll hit me again.'

"When you get back out there, I want you to make him think you're losing."

Muhammad Ali

'I don't understand - he's just as strong as ever.'

What about the company car you promised?

'Don't worry about the loss. At 143.75, if you gain 3 ounces, we can try for the light junior welter super bantam title.'

Casino. Ask about our frequent take-a-flyer program.

"Yar gotta avoid bein' a bit stiff to stop becoming' a stiff."

'I know that your opponent beat the piss out of you, but I still need your urine sample in this cup.'

'I want a good, clean fight. And if I don't see you after this round, hard luck.'

"I'll just sit here looking important - then no one will notice that I can't reach my desk."

'You're going to have to take the fight to him.' 'Aye! Find out where he lives.'