Pre-dawn Shopping Strategists Pillows

'Why not just serve Thanksgiving dinner in the shoe department next year and be done with it??'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Expensive greeting cards.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

'But what do you sell?'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

"I'm off to the sales!"

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

Well, look who's here.

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"