Pragmatic Realist Pillows

'Do you think there's anything after death?'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Drive-thru Church

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

We have control of you brain.

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

Put it in writing!

The Dungeon

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

"OK, let's go to contract."

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"Kids and grand kids squared away forever ago. All set with money. No energy for a whole court thing. So-o-o... maybe you just die?" "Whatever makes you happy, sweet cheeks."

'I tried for a new lease on life, but I got a lousy credit report.'

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."