Pragmatic Planner Gifts

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'This is working fine now, but we really should have a backup plan.'

"We have to make a list of what we’re re-gifting for Christmas this year."

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'So now you want to go to university? You realise if you'd left school at sixteen as I suggested you could've been earning a plumber's wage by now...?!'

"Yes, this is a used coffin. My brother was a car dealer."

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

Engineer on the move.

'I told you he's gonna be the next Warren Buffett!'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

A wiser and a better man

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Bad Office Planning

Father Time Management

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."