Pragmatic Humorist T-Shirts

"Goodness gracious great balls of fire, no!"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Optimist

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

Uncle Donnie

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'