Pragmatic Dater Prints

"It doesn't matter what he looks like, I'm just looking for a hedge against inflation..."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Waterfall of Disappointment

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'I'm sick and tired of you and your 'get rich quick' schemes.'

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Single men in Tahiti

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Wanna do lunch?"

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

'You must be Olivia.'

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

"So tell me again where you're from."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"OK, let's go to contract."

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

'Obviously a cry for help.'

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

"You're all arms Rodney."