Idealistic Dater Prints

'Maybe you set your ideals too high, Karen...'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Waterfall of Disappointment

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

'Let's do lunch.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

True Loves

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

"I'm so shallow."

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

A hippie saying "Peace"

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

Valentines Day.

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man, but you will dump him for a short, chubby, goofy looking doctor.'

'Would it be too forward of me to give you a tweet?'

'Obviously a cry for help.'

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

"I think she's fully committed to me - She got an 'I'm with stupid' TATTOO!"

Non-profit organization chart

"Like, weirdest date ever, last night, he kept trying to make eye contact!"

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

"Love means sacrificing your swiping hand."