Pr Strategy Appreciator Pillows

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Target your customer.

"I go that extra mile!"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

Separations.

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

'This next part is important. Can you say, ‘putting people before profits' - three times fast - without laughing?'

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Late-Onset Epiphany

'In our press release, stress that our strategic focus will be on solving society's problems. This is code for making a bundle of money.'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

'Remember, a breakthrough is not a breakthrough unless you have some good P.R. for it.'

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'