Pr Prowler Pillows

"How's that for your 'corporate response?'"

"National security adviser"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

'It has undergone a thorough research programme. I've shown it to my wife and her sister.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Man chasing microphone.

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'Between you and me, it's a public relations move. I fire you, then bring you back as a consultant.'

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

Envioronmental Re-Framing Company

"Damn it, Turner, you were supposed to orchestrate public opinion."

'Try not to jerk when you come to the end of the rope.'

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

P.R. Hell: Abandon all hype, ye who enter here.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Hunter shooting @ symbols.

"I've just ran over the cat - call Charles Saatchi."

"I'm in marketing. My motto is it's all in the packaging."

'How's business? Well, right now, we outnumber our customers five to one.'

'I did tell the press there would be a photo opportunity, but no one came.'

'Look, we just need to make a few simple decisions. For once, can we do it without an endless squabble over whether we should take the high road or fly under the radar?'

"I sent my resume to 9 PR firms. If any of them call back, tell them I'm magically cleaning my clothes at a breakthrough laundromat where the who's-who of Oak Street meet and greet."

"Go forth and get me a PR consultant."

Balls of wool