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'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Deadline

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."

'Well done! This works much better.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'First the good news.'

'Fine presentation, Matthews, but, lose the wiggle dance.'

Cool 3-D screen.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"And as my chart clearly shows, I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about."

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"This part we still need to iron out."

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'My pitch was going great until I let my guard down and somebody managed to squeeze a word in edgewise!'